‘Friends’ has made us laugh for 20 years. Proof? It’s all those endless quotes that we rattle off over and over again without ever seeming to get bored. We are listing some of the best Friends quotes that always make us laugh.
… And we have Joey to thank for that
Joey’s (in)famous dialog―‘How you ‘Doin’ is probably one of the most famous quotes that the sitcom has to offer.
For a sitcom to be able to entertain its audiences across the world for 20 odd years is no mean feat, and ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ has managed to do exactly that. For all the things that Friends stood for and brought into our lives (and continues to bring still)―the coffee culture or making sarcasm appealing, for example,―laughter is probably what we are most thankful for. Such was its (is its) popularity that not only did people watch the sitcom fervently while it was being aired in real time, but continue to watch it even today (10 years after it went off the air), with reruns upon reruns on TV, and the complete collection of the sitcom taking up permanent gigabytes on the hard disk―to be viewed every weekend or whenever the mood strikes, whichever comes first.
Friends became hugely popular for the world that it let us escape into, the odd relationships that somehow made sense, the sarcasm that suddenly became appealing, which is how Ross, Rachel, Joey, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe became household names. People began identifying with them (“I’m a control freak like Monica”, anyone?), people began emulating their hairstyles, and more than ever, people began mouthing their dialogs …
The 20th anniversary of the first episode ever aired went by a few days ago, and to celebrate this occasion, we here at Entertainism thought that we would give you a little something to reminisce about all the good times that you’ve shared with Friends―a complete list of the quotes that have made you laugh over the last 20 years.
Friends TV Show Quotes
Let’s re-live some of the funniest quotes on friendship, marriage, love, and about life in general that ‘Friends’ brought for us.
Phoebe: [sings] Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault!
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut uuuuppp!
Ross: We were on a break!
[Joey after he sees Chandler with foam over his cheeks and chin]
Joey: Hey. Shaving?
Chandler: No, rabies.
Rachel: Who’s FICA and why is he getting all of my money?
Joey: Could I BE wearing anymore clothes?
Joey: Oh sorry. Did I get you?
Chandler: No! You didn’t *get* me! It’s an electrical drill! You get me, you kill me!
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid. Dressing up, pretending to be someone you’re not.
Chandler: You’re an actor.
Joey: But it hurts my Joey’s apple!
Chandler: Okay, for the last time, it’s not named for each individual man.
Chandler: I got her machine.
Joey: Her answering machine?
Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.
Ross: What are you doing tonight?
Chandler: Why, do you have a lecture?
Ross: No, why?
Chandler: I am free as a bird, what’s up?
Rachel: I don’t want my baby’s first words to be “How You ‘Doin”.
Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that’s ours!
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don’t input those numbers… it doesn’t make much of a difference.
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Joey: Well I’ve had the same walk since high school and you know how when a guy walks into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a ‘take notice’ walk.
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Chandler: You’re turning into a woman.
Joey: No, I’m not. Why would you say that? That’s just mean.
Chandler: Now I’ve upset you? What did I say?
Joey: It’s not what you said. It’s the way you said it…
Joey: Oh my god! I’m a woman!!
Joey: Joey doesn’t share food!
Joey: You didn’t cry when Bambi’s mother died?
Chandler: Yes, it was so sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.
Chandler: OK, here’s the phone bill.
Joey: OH MY GOD!
Chandler: That’s our phone number.
Phoebe, Rachel: Danger!
Rachel: Ah, salmon skin roll.
[On tasting Rachel’s English trifle/Shepherd’s pie]
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Joey: I like it!
Ross: Are you serious?
Joey: What’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Beef, GOOD!
Pheobe: Je m’appelle Claude.
Joey: Jet aplee blooo.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, look, I’m melting butter.
Monica: That’s great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: I’m getting dressed.
Chandler: Because when I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.
Joey: You guys don’t know what it’s like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: I don’t know what that’s like? Up until I was 25, I thought the only response to “I love you” was “Oh, crap.”
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian.
[Everyone stares at him.]
Chandler: Did I say that out loud?
Rachel: No accountants. Oh, and no one from, like, “legal.” I don’t like guys with boring jobs.
Chandler: Oh, and Ross was like what, a lion tamer?
Ross: Do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you about something I’m really uncomfortable talking about.
Joey: Sure. How about uh, you showering with your mom?
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind!
[About Joey’s finger in his mouth]
Ross: What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
Chandler: Joey’s tailor… took advantage of me.
Joey: No way, I’ve been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseam, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite…
(Chandler closes his eyes)
Joey: That’s how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn’t that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is… in prison!
Joey: If the homo sapiens were in fact homo sapiens…is that why they’re extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I’m not judging!
Chandler: You can’t come in.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because, uh, Ross is naked.
Chandler: Well, I couldn’t tell her I was naked. She’s allowed to see me naked.
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
[After hearing Ross practicing the bagpipe for their wedding]
Monica: Why must your family be Scottish?
Chandler: Why must your family be Ross?
Monica: I think I’d be great in a war. I’d, like, get all the medals.
Chandler: Before or after you’re executed by your own troops?
Rachel: Wha… married?
Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married!
Rachel: What? Because that’s your answer to everything?
Chandler: Look, when Monica comes in, mention fire trucks.
Chandler: There’s this guy at her work that she says is the funniest guy she ever met.
Joey: How could she do that? She know being funny is your thing.
Chandler: I know. So could you mention fire trucks when she comes in.
Joey: I don’t know. I’m not too good at memorizing lines.
Chandler: [sarcastically] It’s a good thing you don’t have to do that for a living.
Joey: I know.
Chandler: I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Joey: What secrets?
Chandler: Oh no-no, Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
[the girls walk away]
Joey: You’ll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
[Mona doesn’t know that Rachel is living with Ross]
Mona: Listen, Rachel, I appreciate your situation but this is Valentine’s Day. So, if you don’t mind, would you please just go back home?
[Ross enters with his gift for Mona]
Rachel: What are you talking about? I live here.
Ross: [nervously gives Mona her present] Happy Valentine’s Day!
[Mona stares angrily at Ross]
Ross: Or, something to remember me by…
Joey: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him. He got you to say he never has to call you again. And he got you thinking this is a great idea?
Phoebe: [weakly] Uh-huh.
Joey: This man is my God!
Ross: Ok, look. You don’t have to get married. We can just go home and take a shower. That’s not so scary is it?
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by “we”.
[Rachel complaining about her father]
Rachel: Oh, it was horrible. He called me “young lady”.
Chandler: Ugh, I hate when my father calls me that.
Ross: [clinks wine glass] Uhh, excuse me. If I could have everybody’s attention. I’m Ross Geller.
Jack Geller: DR. Ross Geller.
Ross: Dad… Please. Anyway, as I was saying, I’m Dr. Ross Geller…
Ross: We were on a break!
Chandler: Oh, my God! If you say that one more time, I’m going to break up with you!
Joey: Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.
Chandler: You know if you’re not careful, you may not get married at all this year.
Chandler: I got a job in advertising. Well, not a paying job. More of an internship. But, they hire people they like.
Joey: Yeah, we got interns on “Days of Our Lives”.
Chandler: Yeah, it’s the same thing… except, less sex with you.
Rachel: You didn’t finish reading it?!!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for eighteen pages―front and back!
Chandler: Twins! Twins!
Monica: Chandler, you’re panicking!
Chandler: Uh huh! Join me, won’t you?
Chandler: Okay, you have to stop the Q-tip when there’s resistance!
Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it’s not that common, it doesn’t “happen to every guy”, and it is a big deal!
Chandler: [pointing] I knew it!
Ross: You know what? I’m gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in ’99!
Rachel: But your divorce isn’t even final yet.
Ross: Just the one divorce in ’99! You know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room? Or…
[after observing a short fight between Rachel and Ross]
Phoebe: That’s it? You call that a fight? Come on! “We were on a break.” “No we weren’t.” What happened to you two?
Joey: And you call yourself an accountant?
Chandler: … No.
Joey: Well, I’m sorry if I’m not a middle-aged black woman. And I’m also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition.
Joey: Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: By someone besides Monica?
Phoebe: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
Chandler: Maureen Rosilla.
Ross: “Cause she doesn’t hate Yanni” is not a real reason.
Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re going to love it!
Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy. Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
Phoebe: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Chandler: Games and stuff.
[Rachel is upset that Ross is telling her to hurry up.]
Rachel: This isn’t about the movie theater. This is about you stealing my wind.
Ross: Excuse me – your wind?
Rachel: How do you expect me to grow if you won’t let me blow?
Ross: You know, um… I don’t have a… have a… problem with that.
Chandler: Richard’s really nice and everything. Uh… It’s just that we don’t know him really well, you know, and plus, he’s, you know… old-
[Monica glares at Chandler]
Chandler: -er than some people. But, uh, younger… than some buildings!
[Phoebe has chickenpox and is being forced to wear oven mitts so she doesn’t scratch herself.]
Ross: Oh, look, look, a low-budget puppet show!
Phoebe: [laughs sarcastically] It’s such a shame you can’t see what finger I’m holding up.
[Mindy’s maid-of-honor Rachel appears in a poofy pink dress.]
Rachel: I can’t believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when you’re nauseous!
Phoebe: You guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women?… No.
[Monica has just walked in on Joey and Chandler’s apartment freshly robbed apartment]
Monica: What happened?
Chandler: Well, let’s see, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed.
Ross: Look, I drew a sketch about how we’re gonna do it. Okay, Rach, that’s you. That’s the couch.
Rachel: Whoa, what’s … what’s that?
Ross: Oh, that’s me.
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Ross: No! That’s … that’s my arm.
Chandler: Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Chandler: [sniffs] This sandwich does smell good…
Joey: Did I tell you to smell my sandwich?
Chandler: I can’t smell your sandwich?
Joey: No! Half of the taste is in the smell! You’re sucking up all the taste units!
Chandler: Okay, I’ll give them back.
[blows air through nose]
Monica: Honey, that’s a great idea nailing your boxes to the floor!
Chandler: I didn’t nail my boxes to the floor.
Monica: Oh, so you can move them!
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce.
Joey: [Looking at Ross] What is the matter with you?!
Phoebe: No, Barry and Mindy.
Joey: Oh, sorry. I hear “divorce,” I immediately go to Ross.
Joey: So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and –
Monica: What is DOOL?
Joey: Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, you’re not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!
Chandler: That’s great!
Joey: And – and – and not only that, I’m gettin’ a new brain!
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
[To Judy Gellar]
Phoebe: Pick up the sock, pick up the sock, PICK UP THE SOOOOOOOOOCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
[Everyone stares at her, scared]
Phoebe: I’m sorry, was that rude? Di-di-did my little “outburst” blunt the HIDEOUSNESS that is this evening?!
It is absolutely not surprising that Friends is so popular even today. I mean, if the way we can rattle off those dialogs and quotes in our sleep―season to season―episode to episode―word to word, is anything to go by, it’s going to be a long, long time till my Friends and your Friends are forgotten―what can we say, could we BE more die-hard fans?