From William Steig’s 32-page children’s book to DreamWorks Animation’s four-movie franchise, we have gleefully witnessed Shrek and the gang’s long and exciting journey. In this Entertainism article, you will relive all their endeavors and quests throughout the series with some famous quotes mentioned in the following article.
As most of you know, before Mike Myers became the voice of Shrek, Chris Farley had recorded more than half of the titular character’s dialogs. In the first installment, we see Shrek doing air quotes which is homage to Farley’s popular character in Saturday Night Live, Bennett Brauer.
Before 2001, who knew that the world would fall madly in love with a withdrawn but kindhearted ogre. Either it’s the heavy Scottish accent, or maybe the character’s overall charm; for the die-hard fans across the globe, Shrek is a hero in our books.
Earning its rightful place within the pantheon of awe-inspiring animated movies, the Shrek series has given us some of the most beloved characters of all time. We know that you have memorized the dialogs from the entire series. Which is why, we want you to take a small trip with us and relive the magic with some of the most famous quotes from the Shrek series.
Shrek: [whispers] This is the part where you run away.
[the villagers scarper off]
Shrek: And stay out!
Character – Shrek
Portrayed by – Mike Myers
Best Quote from Movie
Look, I’m not the one with the problem, okay? It’s the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go “Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!” They judge me before they even know me – that’s why I’m better off alone…
Lord Farquaad: [playing with Gingy’s legs] Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man!
Gingerbread Man: You’re a monster!
Lord Farquaad: I’ve tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I’ll…
Gingerbread Man: No! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Donkey: That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying talking donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkeyfly! Ha, ha!
Portrayed by – Eddie Murphy
Best Quote from Movie
Donkey: We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!
Shrek: [peels an onion] No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers… You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “Hell no, I don’t like no parfait.”? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back your swamp, which you only don’t have ’cause he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
Shrek: You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason donkeys shouldn’t talk.
[as they approach Fiona’s castle, Donkey smells the air]
Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything!
Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead!
Shrek: That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.
Donkey: Yeah, right, brimstone. Don’t be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelled, it wasn’t no brim and it didn’t come off no stone neither.
Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin’ about the dragon, Shrek.
Shrek: Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? HE’s the one that wants to marry you.
Princess Fiona: Well, why didn’t he come to rescue me?
Shrek: Good question! You can ask him that when we get there…
Princess Fiona: But I’m supposed to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre a-a-and his pet!
Donkey: Well, so much for noble steed!
Character – Princess Fiona
Portrayed by – Cameron Diaz
Princess Fiona: [hears a roar] You didn’t slay the dragon?
Shrek: It’s on my to-do list, now come on!
Princess Fiona: But this isn’t right! You’re meant to charge in, sword drawn, banners flying! That’s what all the other knights did!
Shrek: Yeah, right before they burst into flame!
[They pass a skeleton of one of the unfortunate victims]
Princess Fiona: That’s not the point…!
Princess Fiona: Where are you going? The exit’s over there!
Shrek: [going to save Donkey] Well, I have to save my ass.
Princess Fiona: [shocked] What kind of knight are you?
Shrek: One of a kind.
Princess Fiona: [after Shrek and Donkey rescue her] The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
Shrek: Uh, no…
Princess Fiona: Why not?
Shrek: I… have helmet hair.
Princess Fiona: Please. I would’st look upon the face of my rescuer.
Shrek: Oh, no, you wouldn’t… tst.
Character – Lord Farquaad
Portrayed by – John Lithgow
[arriving at Duloc]
Shrek: [observing a giant building] That must be Lord Farquaad’s castle… Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?
[Monsieur Hood abducts Fiona]
Shrek: Hey, that’s my princess! Go find your own!
Donkey: You’re so wrapped up in layers onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings!
Shrek: [hiding in the toilet] Go away!
Donkey: See? There you are, doing it again! Just like you did to Fiona! All she ever did was like you maybe, even love you!
Donkey: [desperately talking] I don’t want to rush into a… physical relationship… I’m not that emotionally ready for a… uh… commitment of this… uh… magnitude! Really, that’s the word I’m looking for, magnitude… Huh! Hey, that is unwanted physical contact! Hey! What’re you doing? Okay, okay, okay… let’s just back up a little and take this one step at a time… I mean, we should really get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even as pen pals, you know, coz I’m on the road a lot, but I just love to get a card… Hey, hey, hey, don’t do that, that’s my TAIL, that’s my personal tail, you gonna tear it off! I don’t give permission to… Hey, what’re you gonna do with that? Oh, no, no, no, no… no!
Donkey: Shrek! Fiona! Aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How ’bout a side of sugar for the steed?
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Princess Fiona: No!
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Donkey: This is taking forever, Shrek. There’s no in-flight movie or nothing!
Shrek: The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That’s where we’re going. Far, far…[softly] away!
Shrek: [chuckles] So…you still think this was a good idea?
Princess Fiona: Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us.
King: Who on earth are they?
Queen: I think that’s our little girl.
King: That’s not little! That’s a really big problem. Wasn’t she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell?
Queen: Well, he’s no Prince Charming, but they do look…
Shrek: Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let’s go before they light the torches.
Princess Fiona: They’re my parents.
Shrek: Hello? They locked you in a tower.
Princess Fiona: That was for my own…
King: Good! Here’s our chance. Let’s go back inside and pretend we’re not home.
Queen: Harold, we have to be…
Shrek: Quick! While they’re not looking we can make a run for it.
Princess Fiona: Shrek, stop it! Everything’s gonna be…
King: A disaster! There is no way…
Princess Fiona: You can do this.
Shrek: I really…
King: Really…don’t… want… to… be…
Fairy Godmother: No, that’s all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me…happiness…is just a teardrop away.
Shrek: Thanks, but we’ve got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy…
Character – Fairy Godmother
Portrayed by – Jennifer Saunders
Shrek: Well, it’s not like I wouldn’t change if I could. I just… I just wish I could make her happy. Hold the phone…”Happiness. Just a tear drop away.” Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that’s ever happened to you!
Donkey: Aw, man, where do I begin? First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going “Piñata!!” What is a piñata, anyway?
Character – King Harold
Portrayed by – John Cleese
Shrek: “Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine. You both will be fine?” I guess it means it’ll affect Fiona, too.
Donkey: Hey, man, this don’t feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. Drop that jug o’ voodoo and let’s get out of here.
Shrek: It says, “Beauty Divine.” How bad can it be?
Portrayed by – Antonio Banderas
Best Quote from Movie
Fairy Godmother: What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I’m either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we’ll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! [bubble pops]
[Shrek has grabbed Puss in Boots]
Donkey: I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!
Donkey: I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here! You can’t lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You’re supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Portrayed by – Julie Andrews
Best Quote from Movie
Shrek: Quick! Tell a lie!
Pinochio: What should I say?
Shrek: Anything, but quick!
Donkey: Say something crazy like “I’m wearing ladies’ underwear!”
Pinochio: I am wearing ladies’ underwear.
Shrek: Are you?
Pinochio: I most certainly am not!
Donkey: It looks like you most certainly am are!
Pinochio: I am not!
Puss in Boots: What kind?
Gingy: It’s a thong!
Donkey: [whinnies] Run, run, run, as fast you can!
Shrek: Go, baby, go! There it is, Mongo! To the castle! No, you great stupid pastry! Come on!
Donkey: Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony! That’s right! Follow the pretty pony! Pretty pony wants to play at the castle!
Mongo Pretty pony.
Character – Prince Charming
Portrayed by – Rupert Everett
Fairy Godmother: I told you. Ogres don’t live happily ever after.
Puss in Boots: Hey! Isn’t we supposed to be having a fiesta?
Donkey: Uno, dos, quatro, hit it!
Prince Charming: You! You can’t lie! So tell me puppet… where… is… Shrek?
Pinocchio: Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don’t know where he’s not.
Prince Charming: You’re telling me you don’t know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: It wouldn’t be inaccurate to assume that I couldn’t exactly not say that it is or isn’t almost partially incorrect.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: On the contrary. I’m possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: …do or do not know where he shouldn’t probably be, if that indeed wasn’t where he isn’t. Even if he wasn’t at where I knew he was
[Pigs and Gingerbread Man begin singing]
Pinocchio: That’d mean I’d really have to know where he wasn’t.
Shrek: Oh, my butt is itching up a storm and I can’t reach it in this monkey suit!
Shrek: Honey? Let’s try and be rational about this. Have you seen a baby lately? They just eat and poop and they cry and then they cry when they poop and they poop when they cry…Now, imagine an ogre baby. They extra cry and they extra poop.
Prince Charming: Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. But there are two sides to every story. And our side has not been told. So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their happily ever after?!
Portrayed by – Justin Timberlake
Best Quote from Movie
Donkey: What in the shista-shire kind of place is this?
Shrek: [looks concerned] Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school.
Donkey: High school?!
Puss in Boots: That information is on a need to know basis.
donkey: It’s top secret, hushity hush.
Artie: Somebody help! I’ve been kidnapped by a monster trying to relate to me!
Artie: You know, you’re okay, Shrek. You just need to do a little less yelling and use a little more soap.
Shrek: Thanks, Artie.
Artie: The soap’s because you stink. Really bad.
Shrek: Yeah. I got that.
Snow White: I’m sorry but this just isn’t working for me.
Sleeping Beauty: Everything’s always about you, isn’t it? It’s not like your attitude is helping, Snow.
Snow White: Well maybe it just bothers you that I was voted fairest in the land.
Rapunzel: You mean in that rigged election?
Snow White: Oh, give me a break. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down thy golden extensions!”
Puss in Boots: [in Donkey’s body] At least you don’t look like some kind of bloated roadside piñata. You really should think about going on a diet!
Donkey: [in Puss’ body] Yeah, and you should think about getting yourself a pair of pants! I feel all exposed and nasty.
[Both Shrek and Artie stare at them and burst out laughing]
[Donkey and Puss scowling at them]
Donkey: [in Puss’ body] Oh, so you two think this is funny?
Shrek: Well I guess you need to keep looking…cause I’m not giving up mine.
Shrek: Okay, I know you don’t remember me but we’re married, and at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet, the villagers and this boy kept saying ‘do the roar! do the roar!’ Then I punched the cake that the pigs ate, and the next thing I knew, my donkey fell in your waffle hole.
Shrek: Oh, and while I’m at it, why don’t I tell her that you’re married to a fire breathing dragon and you have little mutant donkey-dragon babies?
Donkey: I do?
Shrek: You saw what happened. She’s going to think I’m crazy.
Donkey: [Not listening] I’m a daddy?
Shrek: Puss, what happened to you?! You got so fa… [Puss raises his eyebrow] fa… ncy!
Puss in Boots: Do I know you?
Shrek: Well, where’s your hat? Where’s your belt? [gasps softly] Your wee little boots?
Puss in Boots: Boots? For a cat? [laughs dryly]
Shrek: But you’re Puss in Boots.
Puss in Boots: Maybe once. But that is a name I have outgrown.
Shrek: That’s not the only thing you’ve outgrown.
Puss in Boots: Hey! I may have let myself go a little since retirement. But hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life. I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase. [a mouse runs up to his bowl and starts drinking out of it] Eh, I’ll get him later. [starts drinking out of the bowl himself]
Portrayed by – Jon Hamm
Best Quote from Movie
[Holds his nose and blows, and his ears trumpet; the other ogres follow suit]
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.
Princess Fiona: Big deal.
Shrek: I know that when you sign your name, you put a heart over the “I”.
Princess Fiona: So what?
Shrek: I know that when you see a shooting star, you cross your fingers on both hands, squinch up your nose and you make a wish. I know that you don’t like the covers wrapped around your feet, and I know that you sleep by candlelight because every time you close your eyes……you’re afraid you’re gonna wake up back in that tower. But, most importantly, Fiona……I know that the reason you turn human every day……is because you’ve never been kissed……well……by me.
Cookie: That’s my chimichanga stand.
Princess Fiona: Um, no, Cookie. We won’t be needing that.
Cookie: Trust me, Fiona. Y’all gonna be really hungry after this ambush, OK? Now go and finish your little speech.
Cookie: But I haven’t taken out his gibblets yet.
Shrek: Trust me, you don’t want to eat this one.
Donkey: I go down smooth, but I come out fightin’!
Portrayed by – Craig Robinson
Best Quote from Movie
Shrek: Do you know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with you all over again.
Princess Fiona: You did.
Shrek: No, it was you who rescued me.
Even with four superbly-constructed films, we can’t help but be selfish and wish for the announcement of a fifth installment. For fans across the globe, Jeffrey Katzenberg did provide a glimmer of hope when he said this in a 2014 interview with Fox Business Network―”We like to let them have a little bit of time to rest,” and “But I think you can be confident that we’ll have another chapter in the Shrek series. We’re not finished, and more importantly, neither is he.”