People working at the tech support desk are bombarded by the stupidest and weirdest questions ever. Buzzle will share with you some stupid tech support questions people ask.
Tech Support: Have you pressed Enter? Okay, Good. Now press the letter ‘P’ on your keyboard.
Customer: I don’t see a letter ‘P’.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, sir.
Customer: Huh? What do you mean?
Tech Support: The ‘P’ on your keyboard, sir!
Customer: How dare you? I’m not going to do that.
Tech Support: (Controlling laughter and pretending to be serious) Sir, I meant press the letter ‘P’ on the keyboard.
It is said that Compaq is seriously considering replacing the command ‘Press Any Key’ with ‘Press Enter Key’, because many people call tech support inquiring the location of the ‘Any’ key on the keyboard. Funny, isn’t it?
Well, this is just one of the many questions that has us thinking about why people ask such dumb questions. Every day, tech support has to answer a number of questions, ranging from absolutely smart to the most dumb and stupid.
One look at these questions and you will start wondering what was the caller thinking when he asked such a question. Needless to say, the people who may have asked these questions might be genuinely needing help, but still it does make one hell-of-a-hilarious list. Well, this Buzzle article will enlist some of the weirdest and stupid tech support questions people ask.
Customer: I just wanted to know if the new mousepad I bought is compatible with my computer?
I hope the tech support guy explained to this customer that the mousepad is a non-electronic device with absolutely zero compatibility issues.
Customer: I want you to replace the coffee mug holder on my CPU immediately. It has broken in barely 2 months.
When the tech support guy heard this he was taken by complete surprise. Only after thinking for a short moment he realized that the customer was actually referring to the CD ROM tray, and was conveniently using it to station his coffee mug.
Customer: I am trying to start the computer by pressing the power button on the foot pedal but the computer just won’t start. Can you please help me out?
OMG. This customer was pressing the mouse with his feet thinking it to be a foot pedal. I can only imagine the reaction of tech support.
Customer: I demand to know why have you cut off my service? So, I haven’t paid my Internet bill for 3 months. Big deal. I know my rights and I am going to exercise them.
Well, this customer surely knows his rights, but conveniently forgets to pay his bills on time.
Customer: I am typing an email address, I have the letter ‘A’ on the keyboard, but how do I get the circle around it?
I can only imagine what the poor tech support executive must have felt like when he heard how the customer was trying to locate the @ sign.
Customer: I am not able to get a print out in red color, what kind of printer have you sold me?
Well, if this customer has bought a black and white printer, it would really require a Harry Potter spell to make it print in red color.
Customer: Are you spying on me? How can you see that there is a ‘My Computer’ folder on my desktop?
Another ignorant customer, who is totally unaware that ‘My Computer’ is a basic folder which comes with all Microsoft desktops, and that the tech support guy was not spying on him after all.
Customer: I don’t understand why am I not able to print. Every time it gives the message ‘Can’t find printer’. I have kept the printer right in front of the monitor, still the computer can’t find it. I don’t know what is happening, can you please help me out?
OMG. My heart goes out to the tech support guy who must have given this lady guidance about why her computer was not ‘finding’ the printer even when she kept it right in front of it.
Customer: What do you mean Firefox is not an anti-virus. Okay. No problem. I have another one called Internet Explorer. Shouldn’t that one work too?
I can only imagine how difficult it would have been for the tech support guy to maintain composure and not burst out laughing.
Customer: What do you mean by am I running my printer under Windows? I have kept it next to the door as it is a good location.
Someone needs to read about computers a little more.
Customer: How dare you keep me on hold with music that is directing abuses at me? I want you to change it immediately or I will have to book you for slander.
I think this customer must either be paranoid, or the tech support guy must have kept him on hold forever. So much so, that he started to imagine that they were hurling abuses at him through the hold music.
Customer: How many times do you want me to read the bar code in front of the computer? I said already it reads big bar, little bar, thin bar, fat bar, big bar …
This one didn’t realize that the bar code came with printed numbers.
Customer: It has now popped up a message that says, ‘Type in your last name’. How do I spell that?
In sheer confusion, the customer forgets how to spell his own name.
Customer: Will putting a new sound card make the Internet run at a faster speed?
Well, if this was possible, we would have saved so many dollars, and life would have been a lot easier.
Customer: What do you mean, I need to get a Macintosh to install OS 8.5. Can’t you just do it by replacing windows on my machine?
Someone please explain to this customer the basic difference between a Macintosh and a Microsoft Desktop.
Customer: I have bought a stolen Macintosh which didn’t come with the software and cables. Can you please send me those? It still has 6 months of warranty.
This customer should be awarded for his honesty, persistence, and, of course, audacity.
Customer: I want to make a word document, can you please tell me what program should I use for it?
The answer lies in the ‘basics’, read the ‘basics’.
Customer: How do you expect me to remember a difficult user name like ‘jackdean62’? I will have to write it down.
I know how difficult it would be to remember Jack Dean 62 as your user name, especially, if it is your name and birth year.
Customer: I am pressing Ctrl-Alt-Del according to your instructions, but nothing is happening. Do you think turning on the computer will help?
Someone please tell this customer that it will only respond if the power is on.
Customer: Do I put the serial number in the box that says ‘serial number,’ or do I put it in the box that says ‘company’?
Why do customers complicate simple matters for the tech support guys? The serial number goes in the space that reads serial number.
Customer: I have been sitting and waiting over here for over an hour with the Internet saying that I am connected. When will it do something?
The Internet now has a mind of its own and it will read your mind and operate on its own. WOW.
Customer: Can you please change my user ID? I really don’t know why you made it compulsory to have it ‘Case Sensitive’.
When the disclaimer reads that the user ID is case sensitive, it does not mean that you have to put it ‘Case Sensitive’.
Customer: My system clock is running 15 minutes behind, do you think that may have caused the network to slow down too?
Eureka, now we know why our network runs slow.
While we are finding these questions bizarre and funny, the tech support guys have to maintain constant composure and not give in to the urge of laughing out loud. Now that you know about stupid tech support questions people ask, refrain from asking such queries yourself. This is the least we can do for the tech support guys, who have to deal with a number of such calls every single day.